About KokiriKid : I'm not a nice person so don't expect my comments to signify otherwise.
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I’m your new creative director
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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
KokiriKid's favorite FMLs
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
by craigtm029429 / 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Rachel / 03/01/2012 at 4:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
by ouch / 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Miscellaneous
by mary / 02/21/2012 at 10:33am / Australia / Health
Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML
by marriedtoaretard / 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Jedi2500 / 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
by cieee / 02/13/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love
Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML
by Lameartist / 02/12/2012 at 5:36am / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
by OwMyBalls / 02/12/2012 at 1:17am / Love
by Anon / 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML
by FuckLife / 02/11/2012 at 8:41am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML
by Saw / 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…