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KokiriKid

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KokiriKid
  • Town/Country : The Kokiri Forest , Hyrule
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 949
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About KokiriKid : I'm not a nice person so don't expect my comments to signify otherwise.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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KokiriKid's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if a guy you've been dating starts acting weird, there's probably a reason why. Like, perhaps, a wife and two kids. FML

#20050674
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (2486)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:02am - love - by yonanon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML

#20043557
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (1404)

On 08/26/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by damnit. (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (1683)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (1481)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (6476)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (1742)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37482) - you deserved it (2018)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28876) - you deserved it (1752)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20367) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the store with my grandpa. When we were rung up, he started to pay for our myriad groceries in coins, and the guy behind us groaned. My grandpa said, "shut your mouth," and started ranting about how stupid people are to leave paper trails for "government spooks." FML

#20006151
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14650) - you deserved it (1529)

On 08/06/2012 at 5:37pm - money - by for fucks sake gramps (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML

#20005989
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28507) - you deserved it (3522)

On 08/06/2012 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

#20005444
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16824) - you deserved it (2043)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

#20002131
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19168) - you deserved it (6033)

On 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by ooops (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (1842)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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