About KokiriKid : I'm not a nice person so don't expect my comments to signify otherwise.
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I’m your new creative director
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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
KokiriKid's favorite FMLs
by the bad artist / 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML
by dating a fucking idiot / 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by onorexveritas / 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
by Cherrish it / 09/04/2012 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
by Loserbot / 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML
by DrunkenShopper / 09/03/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Washington) / Money
Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML
by anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by rotezora / 09/02/2012 at 8:44am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
by The Horrible Older Sister / 09/02/2012 at 6:07am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML
by what.....? / 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…