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One more and it's business time
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Koalax3's favorite FMLs
by jackroarrr / 05/12/2016 at 1:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my husband and I got into a huge fight about his ex-fiancée, after I found out he's been confessing his love to her behind my back. Our fight ended with him yelling that yes, she's the love of his life, "But I still married you, didn't I?" FML
by JustTheWife / 05/12/2016 at 1:24pm / Denmark / Love
by Anonymous / 05/12/2016 at 3:32am / United Kingdom / Geek
by shrutisoma / 05/12/2016 at 12:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Joseflloyd / 05/12/2016 at 12:52am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML
by I write sins not other people's essays / 05/11/2016 at 11:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my obese dog for a walk, since she hasn't had one in a long time. She was doing great, until we were about a mile from our house. She plopped down on the ground and wouldn't move. Nobody was home so I had to carry her all the way back to our house. FML
by SoulStormIV / 05/11/2016 at 11:03pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I offered my friend $150 to drop my girl and me off for at the airport. He's poor, so I try to help him out by paying for rides. My girl being with me, I asked him not to smoke weed while driving. He turned down the job because he needs a minimum of two blunts for the trip. FML
by echo / 05/11/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Chin... uh.... / 05/10/2016 at 6:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I surprise-visited my uncle after not seeing him for 4 years because of college. When he opened the door to his house, he was wearing Crocs. Of course, that would have been completely fine if it weren't for the fact that they were the only thing he was wearing. FML
by Scarred Nephew / 05/10/2016 at 6:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML
by jasonvanr / 05/10/2016 at 4:19am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
Today, some people in my class here in New Zealand found out that I'm from Canada, then spent the rest of the period asking if I had a pet moose and whether or not I lived in an igloo. They were completely genuine questions. FML
by nootnoot / 05/10/2016 at 2:33am / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML
by Nighty-nitrogen / 05/09/2016 at 8:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Giraafe / 05/09/2016 at 1:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've… Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week.… Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else…