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KoalaBek

Offline (the 01/16/2015 at 11:03am) | Search for a member

KoalaBek

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 352
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KoalaBek : I'm a full time professional cynic. If I were an animal I'd be a Binturong. I may be the reincarnation of Martha Stewart. Yes I am aware she's not dead.

KoalaBek's page activity

Visits<b>Loomunati</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:58am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:12am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:34pm<b>AyooAileenCx</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 3:24pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:05pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:20am<b>vernk</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:11pm<b>slimblack</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:29pm<b>lizard365</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:45pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:54am<b>killer0689</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:47am<b>swharley</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:31am<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:50am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:57am<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:42am<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:37am<b>s1s1</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:37am<b>Kah1on</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 9:26pm

KoalaBek's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of KoalaBek's badges

KoalaBek's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25894) - you deserved it (1831)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35119) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47819) - you deserved it (6596)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52662) - you deserved it (11899)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (3327)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (8998)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (4537)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33044) - you deserved it (1631)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (2115)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

#15150978
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (4849)

On 02/28/2011 at 11:26am - work - by Username -

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (2826)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

#13140704
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34653) - you deserved it (4512)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

#4950874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40740) - you deserved it (4304)

On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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