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Knightchaser27's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Knightchaser27's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by f-ugly / 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm / United States / Love
by dca101 / 03/19/2013 at 10:08pm / United States / Love
Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML
by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares / 03/19/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
by Ann / 03/18/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Intimacy
Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML
by mcds2 / 03/18/2013 at 4:28am / United States / Love
Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML
by Anonymous / 03/08/2013 at 6:29am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML
by no sir I have not / 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Work
Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
by soaked / 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…