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Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44454) - you deserved it (4251)
On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49258) - you deserved it (3137)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (2373)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:17am - health - by HamSandwich12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (8639)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54418) - you deserved it (4702)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40915) - you deserved it (9124)
Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43572) - you deserved it (2357)
On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (7046)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19671) - you deserved it (36629)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36227) - you deserved it (15884)
On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)
Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28426) - you deserved it (6156)
On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44961) - you deserved it (2841)
On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)
Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50441) - you deserved it (4416)
On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (2806)
On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (37673)
On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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