Kkmars

Search for a member

Offline (one hour ago)

Kkmars

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1522
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Kkmars's page activity

Visits<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:04pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:36am<b>xSaru</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:07pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:55am<b>stormzzz</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:02am<b>deviking</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 9:57pm<b>TheNewMirage</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:10pm

Fucked!<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:19am

Kkmars's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Kkmars's badges

Kkmars's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

by Nasty / 04/25/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, while waiting in line with my 4-year-old son, I had to awkwardly apologize to an African-American gentleman and explain to my son that the man was not made out of chocolate. FML

by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML

by Me myself & I / 04/18/2016 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML

by killme.jpeg / 04/17/2016 at 9:04pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 7:52am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a bowl of green beans just sitting in my microwave. The only person in my life who ever eats green beans is my psycho ex-girlfriend. She moved out three months ago. FML

by now afraid... / 04/03/2016 at 1:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, it's day 9 of my honeymoon. It's also day 8 of my period and day 7 of food poisoning. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 3:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 12:46am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, in an attempt to be more healthy, I made myself a large fruit smoothie. I didn't think it could or would cause me to practically shart my rectum out my ass for the rest of the afternoon. The more you know. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 12:05pm / United States / Health

Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2016 at 1:25am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML

by GetAnotherRoomAlready / 03/12/2016 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML