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Kkmars's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend added me to his friends' private Whatsapp group, after weeks of asking him to include me in more of his life. It turns out almost all they do is post pictures of their shits and rate them. There is nearly a year's worth of pictures. FML
by ~~~~ / 05/27/2016 at 2:45pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous
Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 7:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I took my AP US History exam. For some reason, my school let the school nurse proctor the exam. She read the instructions for the wrong test and told us to seal up our tests, despite having another section left in that book. She wouldn't listen to us when we tried to tell her. FML
by soccerswim20 / 05/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Chin... uh.... / 05/10/2016 at 6:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by Erin / 05/09/2016 at 10:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by filipkm / 05/06/2016 at 10:37am / Slovenia (Ljubljana) / Health
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
by Nasty / 04/25/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by Me myself & I / 04/18/2016 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML
by killme.jpeg / 04/17/2016 at 9:04pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 7:52am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by now afraid... / 04/03/2016 at 1:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 3:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 12:46am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love