Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kkkdawg

Search for a member

Kkkdawg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 483
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About Kkkdawg : I like cats, naps, and hair metal.
Ask me where Waldo is.

Kkkdawg's page activity

Visits<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:21pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 5:54am<b>Lrigglez</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:38pm<b>greaterdane</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:52am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:33am<b>flamedragon2525</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 12:42am<b>EndOfSekrets</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:23am<b>guineagirl</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:25am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:51am<b>Solipsist</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 2:21pm<b>TheElBurrrito</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:04pm<b>shea2378</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:58am<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 7:47pm<b>afulcer</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 11:17pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 11:09pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:31pm<b>Stardew</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 7:22am<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 3:45pm

Kkkdawg's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Kkkdawg's badges

Kkkdawg's favorite FMLs

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (15505)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8545) - you deserved it (107927)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (9363)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36526) - you deserved it (6058)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11858) - you deserved it (27422)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

#12894594
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (6181)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (5128)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18722) - you deserved it (32846)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (3579)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (8816)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15180) - you deserved it (49009)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

#2686671
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14882) - you deserved it (87194)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (87506)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: