Kiwiscanfly

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Offline (the 02/15/2014 at 11:16am)

Kiwiscanfly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1438
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Kiwiscanfly : I'm Johanna, and I live in New Zealand.

Kiwiscanfly's page activity

Visits<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:41pm<b>tanishpradhan</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:23am<b>CallMeMctwo</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Jak0p</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:26am<b>Dawkenz</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 1:36am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:14pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 8:47am<b>Arni792</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 11:16am<b>CJWilliams1984</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 7:24pm<b>im24cm</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 7:23am<b>jjmiller1001</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 3:42am<b>Thunderlaxus</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:44am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 11:51pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 11:01pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 11:56pm<b>harleygb</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Criptical</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:11am<b>vj21</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:47am

Kiwiscanfly's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Kiwiscanfly's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

by Char / 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Health

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

by tubby / 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm / Sweden (Blekinge Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

by EpicUsername / 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML

by MissMSE / 09/18/2009 at 4:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

by hunnydoll / 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

by onething / 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

by apparentlyugly / 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek