Kiwiscanfly

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Offline (the 02/15/2014 at 11:16am)

Kiwiscanfly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1279
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Kiwiscanfly : I'm Johanna, and I live in New Zealand.

Kiwiscanfly's page activity

Visits<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:41pm<b>tanishpradhan</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:23am<b>CallMeMctwo</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Jak0p</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:26am<b>Dawkenz</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 1:36am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:14pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 8:47am<b>Arni792</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 11:16am<b>CJWilliams1984</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 7:24pm<b>im24cm</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 7:23am<b>jjmiller1001</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 3:42am<b>Thunderlaxus</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:44am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 11:51pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 11:01pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 11:56pm<b>harleygb</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Criptical</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:11am<b>vj21</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:47am

Kiwiscanfly's FML badges

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Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Kiwiscanfly's favorite FMLs

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

by Poly24 / 08/27/2013 at 6:32am / Kids

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

by 12345678910 / 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

by countryblumpkin / 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 3:36am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

by vmml97 / 08/01/2013 at 12:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

by bloody / 06/15/2013 at 4:57am / United States / Love

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

by great_just_great / 02/24/2013 at 12:48am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

by bastardchild_01 / 10/17/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

by Display / 09/27/2012 at 12:10am / Health

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous