About KiwiKitten : I hate every single one of you. You are all incompetent idiots, lacking in humor and knowledge of sarcasm. You suck. Yes, I'm talking to you.
KiwiKitten's FML badges
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KiwiKitten's favorite FMLs
Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML
by overachiever / 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
by florisvanlent / 02/12/2009 at 11:17am / Netherlands (Drenthe) / Intimacy
- Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am.… Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was… Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back…