About KiwiKitten : I hate every single one of you. You are all incompetent idiots, lacking in humor and knowledge of sarcasm. You suck. Yes, I'm talking to you.
KiwiKitten's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
KiwiKitten's favorite FMLs
Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML
by overachiever / 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
by florisvanlent / 02/12/2009 at 11:17am / Netherlands (Drenthe) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…