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KiwiKitten

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KiwiKitten
  • Town/Country : Broomfield, Colorado
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 978
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About KiwiKitten : I hate every single one of you. You are all incompetent idiots, lacking in humor and knowledge of sarcasm. You suck. Yes, I'm talking to you.

KiwiKitten's last visitors

SticksandSkinsTHE_A_TEENroundnproudZomg_OkayTheFirstSamuraiTheRuinedJoonBeebroken_symlink

KiwiKitten's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

KiwiKitten's favorite FMLs

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

#18860090
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27070) - you deserved it (3317)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML

#18382855
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (4722)

On 11/29/2011 at 3:00am - love - by LadyDean - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36054) - you deserved it (9016)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15729) - you deserved it (22931)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

#17093832
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (2216)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (6174)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (24288)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5672) - you deserved it (84019)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10286) - you deserved it (55028)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9678) - you deserved it (41817)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9388) - you deserved it (42593)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (8108)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

#15195010
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (8886)

On 03/04/2011 at 8:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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