Kiwi18

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Kiwi18

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 October 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10918
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kiwi18 : I'm a New Zealander living in the USA. I enjoy reading the FML forums, greatful that this shit never happens to me :P

Kiwi18's page activity

Visits<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 7:36am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:05am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:08pm<b>burnsky</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:06pm<b>brittany310</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:42pm<b>rudraveda</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:32pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 8:05pm<b>emobubblez</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 7:39am<b>Shenanigans9</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 4:48pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 12:01pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:07am<b>Masta_Blasta</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 3:05am<b>uyt666</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 12:05am<b>ikurtz</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 3:39pm<b>Maria_716</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 8:42pm<b>LaLaLeah</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 1:09am<b>ilovemysuckylife</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 11:10pm<b>djsubdu3</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 8:29pm

Fucked!<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:36pm

Kiwi18's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kiwi18's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 4:34am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

by Jpah / 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

by WhyTheFNot / 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

by WhyTheFNot / 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 7:13am / Switzerland (Bern) / Intimacy

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

by unicorn / 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

by hdat / 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

by Person / 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 9:50am / South Africa (Free State) / Love

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous