Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KittyHawkMarch

Online | Search for a member

KittyHawkMarch

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Port Elgin, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 May 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6570
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

KittyHawkMarch's page activity

Visits<b>taccoburrito596</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:32pm<b>diceplaya</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 10:25am<b>jademitch</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 5:51am<b>thecouchisalive</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:16am<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:42pm<b>rockabillykid</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:50pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:34pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:09pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:48pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:32pm<b>Regimental_Phan</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 3:04pm<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:14am<b>JakeStateFarm765</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 3:35pm<b>rtm3596</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:06pm<b>rogerover</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:06pm<b>ROMAD</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Lazy_B_</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:58am

Fucked!<b>jademitch</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:52am<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:54am<b>AnalAssassin1</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 5:53am<b>rekkas</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:26am

KittyHawkMarch's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of KittyHawkMarch's badges

KittyHawkMarch's favorite FMLs

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1095) - you deserved it (118)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by YouCouldHaveAtLeastPutABowOnIt (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6173) - you deserved it (380)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

#21434895
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17023) - you deserved it (1056)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because, 'my hands must smell of meat'. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#21434496
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19169) - you deserved it (1562)

On 06/30/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by A - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19226) - you deserved it (1347)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML

#21433680
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (1642)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by youdontknowmewhy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (3743)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

#21433097
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22581) - you deserved it (1937)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:06am - love - by Waste Someone Else's Time - United States

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26334) - you deserved it (1787)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (3194)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

#21432849
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (2217)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm - love - by isaidfuckoff (woman) - United States

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21984) - you deserved it (2133)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (2086)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I keep getting calls from companies that I applied to for interviews. The thing is, I moved 1,000 miles away a week ago because I couldn't find a job. FML

#21431867
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24409) - you deserved it (2895)

On 06/25/2015 at 4:59pm - work - by missmolliss (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: