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KittyHawkMarch's favorite FMLs
Today, I skipped class and went to back my apartment early. I found that my roommate had broken into my room and was laying in my bed wearing my underwear, taking pictures of herself. Apparently, she's been doing it all semester. FML
by NewRoommateNeededASAP / 10/12/2016 at 9:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by lululand315 / 10/11/2016 at 10:40am / United States (District of Columbia) / Money
by anonymous / 10/11/2016 at 1:23am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate observed that if my eyes were turned upside down, they would look the same - and proved it with Photoshop. After a bit of thought, she decided that it's because the bags under my eyes are dark enough to look like eyelids. FML
by eyebags / 10/10/2016 at 9:04am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, while at my job as a lifeguard, a little girl got stuck in the shower cubicle because the lock wouldn't open. To get her out, I had to lift the door off the hinges and swing it open, a fairly safe procedure. The hinges broke, though, and I ended up hitting the girl with the door. FML
by caitywebbkid / 10/09/2016 at 7:36am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML
by amandanoelle / 10/09/2016 at 2:42am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was house-hunting online. I was becoming increasingly discouraged and began to look for mini-houses in absurd desperation. I noticed the Google sidebar advertising a cute mini house within my budget. Excited, I clicked on the ad - only to discover it was an ad for a child's playhouse. FML
by Nohouseforme / 10/07/2016 at 1:38am / United States (Arizona) / Money
Today, I told my boyfriend the exact moment I fell in love with him: when we made eye contact in a crowd on our fifth date. He asked if I wanted to know what he was thinking at that moment. I then found out it was, "I really hope she can't smell that fart." FML
by saashtow / 10/07/2016 at 1:00am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by jaimpastaggle / 10/06/2016 at 10:24am / France / Kids
Today, I found out why my thesis supervisor made me change my whole project I was working on for the past 3 months. Apparently, he had another student doing the same thing and they published it today. FML
by mixedupminx / 10/06/2016 at 10:11am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Work
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
by Pissed.Off.Mom. / 10/06/2016 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was working as a valet when an old guy came up and wanted us to park his car. He said he had an accident. We looked in the car and saw poop all over the seat. We still had to park the car. FML
by RickTooBomb / 10/05/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Da Boss / 10/04/2016 at 9:19pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by storyteller / 10/04/2016 at 12:29pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today my boyfriend and I broke up. It was a mutual decision but I was curious as to what he thought went wrong. "I was just never sure if you brushed your teeth regularly." He cheated on me twice. FML
by cannotexplain / 10/04/2016 at 10:43am / Australia / Love