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KittyHawkMarch

Offline (the 04/20/2014 at 4:34am) | Search for a member

KittyHawkMarch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 May 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2233
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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KittyHawkMarch's page activity

Visits<b>diceplaya</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:23am<b>tg210</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:15pm<b>hilow212</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 2:59pm

KittyHawkMarch's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of KittyHawkMarch's badges

KittyHawkMarch's favorite FMLs

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (6652)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

#21116391
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34915) - you deserved it (11985)

On 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm - animals - by hold your horses pony boy - United States

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46937) - you deserved it (18126)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54645) - you deserved it (5668)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38252) - you deserved it (11422)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51987) - you deserved it (4700)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55831) - you deserved it (7038)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35640) - you deserved it (8372)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

#21110397
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40495) - you deserved it (3356)

On 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

#21110183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38796) - you deserved it (5408)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49507) - you deserved it (4837)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, a customer threw his hot coffee all over me, because it was taking "too long" for their credit card to be approved. FML



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