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KittyHawkMarch's favorite FMLs
Today, I declared I was done with online dating after several disasters. My friend set me up with a friend of her husband's. Turns out he's one of the men who rejected me on the website. He laughed when he saw me and said, "Well, this is awkward" and left. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2016 at 4:06pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, we had a fish fry for Father's Day. I ended up getting a fish bone lodged in my tonsil, and I had to rush to the bathroom to pull it out. I threw up three times in the process and still didn't manage to get the bone out. FML
by dammitRandy / 06/19/2016 at 1:18pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML
by mrtoolate / 06/19/2016 at 4:58am / India (Maharashtra) / Love
Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried to cover it up by having her stuffed. I found it "her" on my bed when I got home. They think that it's sweet that they stuffed the cat they killed. FML
by sadblufly / 06/18/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML
by Mexican / 06/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by AlphonseMuchacha / 06/18/2016 at 9:16pm / Australia / Intimacy
Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML
by Ow / 06/18/2016 at 8:51pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids
Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML
by aishahahaha_ / 06/18/2016 at 8:34pm / Zambia (Lusaka) / Miscellaneous
by RIP / 06/18/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML
by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Work
by pass me the fucking rope / 06/18/2016 at 9:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/17/2016 at 11:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Work