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KittyHawkMarch's FML badges
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KittyHawkMarch's favorite FMLs
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2016 at 12:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by N / 05/20/2016 at 4:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, even though my boyfriend knew that I was a devout catholic before he asked me on a date, he's pissed that I keep refusing to have sex. Apparently, he thought I was just playing hard to get and that I would eventually drop my panties like all the other slutty "religious" girls he claims to have fucked. FML
by Bethany / 05/20/2016 at 3:31pm / Germany / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML
by superfreak6 / 05/20/2016 at 9:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
by ShandiPandiDerp / 05/20/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 7:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML
by aireeahna / 05/20/2016 at 2:04am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by TicketMePink / 05/20/2016 at 1:57am / United States / Love
Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML
by pain / 05/20/2016 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Health
by No thanks / 05/19/2016 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by goldenpuppy / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals