KittyDimondXD

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Offline (the 07/28/2015 at 5:50am)

KittyDimondXD

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 946
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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KittyDimondXD's page activity

Visits<b>Lt_Senpai</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:44pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 11:30am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:08pm<b>172pilot</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:33pm<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 2:51am<b>emmingle</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:37pm<b>madridistagirl</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:36pm<b>OmegaJstn</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 4:09pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 2:58pm<b>liz718</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 6:42am<b>Roley4498</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 4:42am<b>Jvukich</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 4:27am<b>thorin_oakshield</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 4:08am<b>YNWA</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 3:50pm

KittyDimondXD's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of KittyDimondXD's badges

KittyDimondXD's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

by Jake / 10/02/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML

by goodbyefriend / 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

by kitty shah / 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

by Mouhahaa / 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm / France / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

by laury / 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.