About Kitty19 : I only trust people who like big butts, they cannot lie.
Kitty19's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Kitty19's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML
by imonfmlnow / 08/13/2015 at 12:24pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Random737193 / 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
by anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by IngenuityAbsent / 02/22/2015 at 8:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML
by mybfthecrossdresser / 01/20/2015 at 10:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by SisterOfTard / 11/10/2014 at 11:31am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…