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Kittem

Offline (the 03/25/2014 at 10:31pm) | Search for a member

Kittem

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1761
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Kittem's page activity

Visits<b>SakuraStars</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:56am<b>marrymarz</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:24pm<b>plaguer</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 12:10am

Kittem's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Kittem's favorite FMLs

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31314) - you deserved it (5900)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (23175)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50665) - you deserved it (3069)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44244) - you deserved it (3284)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (6082)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32618) - you deserved it (7223)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50515) - you deserved it (6598)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47484) - you deserved it (3175)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36414) - you deserved it (3645)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49250) - you deserved it (11556)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (4149)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45852) - you deserved it (2735)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49096) - you deserved it (21982)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33086) - you deserved it (26807)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13060) - you deserved it (52269)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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