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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, I was at te supermarket wen an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for er from a ig self. Te moment I took ands off almost-full sopping cart, se made off wit it. I ended up getting trown out by security after se claimed I was trying to steal it from er. FML
Today, I Was Out Jogging, Wen I Saw A Girl Fall Off Er Bike An Start Crying. I Ran Over To See If Se Was Urt. Apparently Er Neigbour Tougt I Was Trying To Kidnap Er, Because E Ran Out Wit A Baseball Bat An Treatend To Beat Me To Deat If I Didn't Get Lost. FML
TODAY... I WAS READING AND STARTED LAUGHING AT A FUNNY PART IN MAH BOOK. MY MOM THEN BITCHED ME OUT BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT I WAS LAUGHING AT HER. SHE CALLED ME A LIAR AFTER I EXPLAINED MYSELF. HER LOGIC? "BOOKS AREN'T FUNNY". FML
I was making teahen I smelled something burning . My very fluffy cat had putted his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur . Now I have a semi-hairles cat and a very smelly apartment . mega FML
Today , nose started runninghile in bed with boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck , his shrt , an his silk sheets. FML
Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excitd. Until I realizd it was my dad, feeling sorry fir me. mega FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons 4 a party in recognition of our company's huge merger!! Instead, he made condom balloons!! Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms 4 a prestigious company event!! A company whose CEO is named Dick!! looool FML
Today I was out with mah grandma when a pair of very shady guys approachd us in the street hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride she pulld a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck gran? FML
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrestd, an we all got find 4 creating a public disturbance. When I explaind I wasn't with them, the group backd me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, an now I have to go to court. real FML
Today, mah sister textd me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worrid about wat could happen. I textd ( good luck ) back. My phone autocorrectd it to ( goodbye ) and I didn't even notice. FML
Friday 27 March 2015