Kittem

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Offline (the 08/18/2015 at 10:20am)

Kittem

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5984
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Kittem's page activity

Visits<b>Shoebur</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:21pm<b>SakuraStars</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:56am<b>marrymarz</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:24pm<b>plaguer</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 12:10am

Kittem's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Kittem's badges

Kittem's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a 31% on a Chinese test at school. I moved here to New Jersey from China two months ago. FML

by Noname / 02/28/2009 at 3:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

by jcc / 02/24/2009 at 3:31am / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Transportation

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

by Noname / 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

by ruffrider / 02/05/2009 at 9:09am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

by Jack / 02/01/2009 at 3:54am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

by Promo girl / 01/22/2009 at 5:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

by stellarshaun / 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

by Hungry / 01/14/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

by Noname / 12/30/2008 at 11:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

by Lola / 12/26/2008 at 1:32am / Love

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

by Fuzy / 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm / Work

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

by ... / 11/29/2008 at 6:50am / Intimacy

Today, I had an important appointment for a job. During the interview, my cellphone rang. My ringtone is "Denver, the last Dinosaur". FML

by Dothy / 11/17/2008 at 4:54am / France (Aquitaine) / Work