Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KitchKraft

Online | Search for a member

KitchKraft

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 122
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About KitchKraft : Well, this is an FML bio, so don't expect it to be deep. I used to go on FML all the time on my phone but I was spending too much time reading posts so I deleted it, but just made another account. Message me if you like. I'm on my phone so I should respond relatively quickly.

KitchKraft's page activity

Visits<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:43am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:13pm<b>Lilly2shoes</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:59pm<b>CaptNomNom</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:28pm<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:21pm<b>greekpride</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:59pm<b>ChaCerCam1</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Zougibourg</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:32pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:07pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:08am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:32am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:09am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:34pm<b>lifesneutral2002</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Triumvirate</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:20pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 7:15pm<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:33pm<b>igive</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:28pm

KitchKraft's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of KitchKraft's badges

KitchKraft's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
74 comments

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39065) - you deserved it (3365)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

#21251454
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:24pm - kids - by adeeri - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33877) - you deserved it (4502)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40442) - you deserved it (7725)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (7408)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (9436)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52914) - you deserved it (4874)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50546) - you deserved it (6621)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49777) - you deserved it (5733)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42509) - you deserved it (3980)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62394) - you deserved it (5030)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (1807)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35828) - you deserved it (13078)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (31466)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: