Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KitchKraft

Offline (49 minutes ago) | Search for a member

KitchKraft

0Liked!

KitchKraftKitchKraft
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 472
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About KitchKraft : Well, this is an FML bio, so don't expect it to be deep. I used to go on FML all the time on my phone but I was spending too much time reading posts so I deleted it, but just made another account. Go ahead and message me. I'm on my phone so I should respond relatively quickly.

KitchKraft's page activity

Visits<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:29am<b>robinthecupcake</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 7:32am<b>BecauseIAmBatman</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 9:01pm<b>twofade</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 3:53pm<b>mazziemom</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 9:52am<b>yaboi19</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:30am<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:40pm<b>JSparkz19</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:56pm<b>MsFML_</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:27am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 6:53pm<b>prettylover2483</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:41am<b>fionawesome</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:34pm<b>feven</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:01pm<b>AWESOMENESStoGO</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 6:56pm<b>iTzYourDad</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:40pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:42am

KitchKraft's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of KitchKraft's badges

KitchKraft's favorite FMLs

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (1778)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (1648)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37736) - you deserved it (3611)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (9857)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27605) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33224) - you deserved it (5761)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25881) - you deserved it (3245)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37380) - you deserved it (4267)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36409) - you deserved it (3094)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19088) - you deserved it (30648)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28729) - you deserved it (3447)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: