Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Kirlyfoo

Search for a member

Kirlyfoo
  • Town/Country : Florida
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 554
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kirlyfoo : What are haters gonna say when i stomp'em in da nuts!

My nigga my nigga let dat bump, see that nigga right there let that slump, and when we ride off let that bump EAZY-MAC!

Kirlyfoo's last visitors

lmc94mokshaVegeto30294Give_Linux_A_Go

Kirlyfoo's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Kirlyfoo's badges

Kirlyfoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

#7605430
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17456) - you deserved it (6115)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by garage - Sent from mobile version

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4273) - you deserved it (51454)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

#4810321
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33130) - you deserved it (15660)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72808) - you deserved it (10105)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

#1690267
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11365) - you deserved it (60006)

On 05/06/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by ElamentalAngel - United Kingdom

Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML

#1495877
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40230) - you deserved it (23891)

On 04/30/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by ashley (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15073) - you deserved it (71762)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12233) - you deserved it (190963)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

#141868
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (31741)

On 02/26/2009 at 9:13am - work - by Kasizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by