About Kirlyfoo : My nigga my nigga let dat bump, see that nigga right there let that slump, and when we ride off, let that bump EAZY-MAC!
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Kirlyfoo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Utah) / Health
Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML
by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
by ElamentalAngel / 05/06/2009 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML
by ashley / 04/30/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
by anon13 / 04/12/2009 at 12:27am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
by funnyguyNOT / 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm / United States / Transportation
Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML
by Kasizzle / 02/26/2009 at 9:13am / United States (Colorado) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He… Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound… Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room,…