About Kirlyfoo : What are haters gonna say when i stomp'em in da nuts!
My nigga my nigga let dat bump, see that nigga right there let that slump, and when we ride off let that bump EAZY-MAC!
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Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17794) - you deserved it (5137)
On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (11657)
On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15947) - you deserved it (25235)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my downstairs neighbor had a home birth. Not only did I hear eighteen hours of uninterrupted screaming, they called me afterwards, asking if I could come over to help them clean up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (1742)
On 12/15/2011 at 4:43pm - health - by Kara - United States (New York)
Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8095) - you deserved it (58158)
On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (25714)
On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)
Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33747) - you deserved it (2052)
On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (2378)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23305) - you deserved it (2244)
On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53987) - you deserved it (4541)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41552) - you deserved it (7654)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17367) - you deserved it (1996)
On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15840) - you deserved it (2327)
On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States
Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19133) - you deserved it (1368)
On 03/10/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by penpendesrapen - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3216) - you deserved it (41064)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Monday 20 May 2013
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