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Kirlyfoo

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Kirlyfoo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1007
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kirlyfoo : My nigga my nigga let dat bump, see that nigga right there let that slump, and when we ride off, let that bump EAZY-MAC!

Kirlyfoo's page activity

Visits<b>chamay</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:13pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 1:20pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:28am<b>moksha</b> - the 02/14/2012 at 5:23pm<b>Vegeto30294</b> - the 02/11/2012 at 12:26pm<b>Give_Linux_A_Go</b> - the 12/19/2011 at 10:27am

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Kirlyfoo's favorite FMLs

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53874) - you deserved it (3459)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13345) - you deserved it (31531)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (1312)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (1626)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13940) - you deserved it (24794)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10286) - you deserved it (27107)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14515) - you deserved it (34435)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (7118)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (3566)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35036) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML

#19064637
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12080) - you deserved it (32794)

On 02/13/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by dis_bee_leaf (woman) - Canada

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9710) - you deserved it (73922)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25221) - you deserved it (4172)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46741) - you deserved it (3237)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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