About Kinijo : Hey, I've been on this site for a while but I never commented much. I like reading about people's lives and having a laugh so don't take anything I say seriously.
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Kinijo's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals
by duckthehack / 01/28/2011 at 9:25am / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
by ohsnap / 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 4:40am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm / United States / Love
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me, when I got off he smiled and told me as the doors were closing "the last twelve times was for fun." FML
by nameless / 11/09/2010 at 2:00pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
by secretdoll / 11/09/2010 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
by ashbox233 / 11/08/2010 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…