About Kinijo : Hey, I've been on this site for a while but I never commented much. I like reading about people's lives and having a laugh so don't take anything I say seriously.
Kinijo's FML badges
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Kinijo's favorite FMLs
Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML
by thathottchickk / 12/13/2011 at 5:43pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 8:01am / United States / Intimacy
by anonymous / 11/20/2011 at 6:31am / United States / Love
by kaybax / 11/19/2011 at 6:42am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Love
by Yeoman / 11/19/2011 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love
by box bulge / 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm / China / Health
Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML
by Missy / 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
by pokeballbra / 10/17/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by dmanrique / 10/04/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by kewtness_17 / 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was arriving at my grandmas and when I met her she asked "Where's your girlfriend?" I told… Today, after getting out a low security psychiatric unit two weeks ago and returning to work after… Today, while driving to work, I was wondering why the highway was so empty. Turned out, today is a…