About Kinijo : Hey, I've been on this site for a while but I never commented much. I like reading about people's lives and having a laugh so don't take anything I say seriously.
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Kinijo's favorite FMLs
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
by hala / 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
by Sarah / 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to do a load of laundry. Two minutes into the cycle, I realized that I left my iPod in my sweatpants pocket. The washing machine door locks automatically and cannot be opened until the 40-minute cycle is up. FML
by DumbDinosaur / 03/09/2009 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, a guy who I've been on five dates with called me for the first time in 2 weeks. The first thing I said was, "Don't expect me to go out with you again after going AWOL on me." Then he told me his mom died. FML
by ouch / 03/03/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
by tryena / 02/28/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Idaho) / Kids
by AppoKing / 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Kristina / 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
by morg2000 / 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm / Mexico / Kids
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
by florisvanlent / 02/12/2009 at 11:17am / Netherlands (Drenthe) / Intimacy
by neversayhiagain / 02/10/2009 at 12:58am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
by kprice6 / 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…