About Kinijo : Hey, I've been on this site for a while but I never commented much. I like reading about people's lives and having a laugh so don't take anything I say seriously.
Kinijo's FML badges
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Kinijo's favorite FMLs
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
by hala / 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
by Sarah / 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to do a load of laundry. Two minutes into the cycle, I realized that I left my iPod in my sweatpants pocket. The washing machine door locks automatically and cannot be opened until the 40-minute cycle is up. FML
by DumbDinosaur / 03/09/2009 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, a guy who I've been on five dates with called me for the first time in 2 weeks. The first thing I said was, "Don't expect me to go out with you again after going AWOL on me." Then he told me his mom died. FML
by ouch / 03/03/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
by tryena / 02/28/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Idaho) / Kids
by AppoKing / 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Kristina / 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
by morg2000 / 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm / Mexico / Kids
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
by florisvanlent / 02/12/2009 at 11:17am / Netherlands (Drenthe) / Intimacy
by neversayhiagain / 02/10/2009 at 12:58am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
by kprice6 / 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
- Today I received a phone call for a reservation (I'm a B&B owner) for 12 firefighters (he said they… Today, I woke up to my head being covered by a pissy diaper, a pile of pee not even an inch from my… Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'…