Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

King_paradox

Search for a member

King_paradox

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1512
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About King_paradox : I'm a wizim

=E=

It's a wizim thing

King_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:04am<b>kristallan</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:46pm<b>bzac24</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:52am<b>mario2012</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:22pm<b>sarahv04</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:48pm<b>cmchewy</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:30pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 7:36am<b>lilhellian</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 5:55pm<b>Miss_CHEESEPUFFS</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:25pm<b>WhoopteDo</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 6:48pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 6:30am<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 5:28pm<b>sleepRX</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 2:11am<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 6:16pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:21am<b>bluehero</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 8:38pm<b>downbeatz5</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 8:20am<b>Matty823</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:20pm

King_paradox's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of King_paradox's badges

King_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51046) - you deserved it (6930)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, some thieves broke into my church and stole our cameras, monitors, and some other hardware. We were planning to use them for the security system we were about to install. FML

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41838) - you deserved it (10048)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41279) - you deserved it (12066)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (5510)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (51443)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

#21135688
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39520) - you deserved it (4090)

On 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50909) - you deserved it (4424)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

#21135494
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (3404)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45876) - you deserved it (5484)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a ticket for parking in front of a private driveway. My own driveway. FML

#21135152
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (5006)

On 05/09/2014 at 9:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

#21135014
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (3871)

On 05/09/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

#21134960
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (4955)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

#21134960
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (4955)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: