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King_paradox

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King_paradox

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King_paradoxKing_paradox
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3217
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About King_paradox : I'm a wizim

=E=

It's a wizim thing

King_paradox's page activity

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King_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41827) - you deserved it (3877)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50616) - you deserved it (9729)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

#21245365
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33963) - you deserved it (4095)

On 08/25/2014 at 9:03pm - love - by byebyeromance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39149) - you deserved it (3894)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (4688)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (7235)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48061) - you deserved it (4322)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (28)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39446) - you deserved it (14931)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

#21241880
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (6893)

On 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43539) - you deserved it (16541)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (44702)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39310) - you deserved it (3535)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40808) - you deserved it (4567)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



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