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King_paradox

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King_paradox

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1589
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About King_paradox : I'm a wizim

=E=

It's a wizim thing

King_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:04am<b>kristallan</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:46pm<b>bzac24</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:52am<b>mario2012</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:22pm<b>sarahv04</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:48pm<b>cmchewy</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:30pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 7:36am<b>lilhellian</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 5:55pm<b>Miss_CHEESEPUFFS</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:25pm<b>WhoopteDo</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 6:48pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 6:30am<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 5:28pm<b>sleepRX</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 2:11am<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 6:16pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:21am<b>bluehero</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 8:38pm<b>downbeatz5</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 8:20am<b>Matty823</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:20pm

King_paradox's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of King_paradox's badges

King_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

#21171186
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44134) - you deserved it (17870)

On 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

#21170183
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (8956)

On 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Sleepdeprived (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

#21170120
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39912) - you deserved it (17436)

On 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm - animals - by imalosertho (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my nineteen year old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

#21169808
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (14773)

On 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

#21169704
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45743) - you deserved it (6140)

On 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm - love - by fartbucket51995129565 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56167) - you deserved it (6779)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46780) - you deserved it (4936)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45991) - you deserved it (5112)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50753) - you deserved it (7125)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML

#21158368
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39922) - you deserved it (3488)

On 05/31/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42130) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML

#21157939
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (3649)

On 05/31/2014 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML

#21157433
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36999) - you deserved it (4307)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:33pm - misc - by save me (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57524) - you deserved it (6347)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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