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King_paradox

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King_paradox

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1526
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About King_paradox : I'm a wizim

=E=

It's a wizim thing

King_paradox's page activity

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King_paradox's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of King_paradox's badges

King_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

#4845223
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61843) - you deserved it (3087)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13968) - you deserved it (64300)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML

#4511131
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43830) - you deserved it (2548)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I swerved to avoid hitting a dog that ran in front of my car. The dog was fine but I hit a road sign, ripped off my rearview mirror, and cracked my passenger side window. When I got out to examine the damage to my car, the dog growled at me. FML

#4500553
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (5843)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:49pm - animals - by animalover - United States (Georgia)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (485285)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13983) - you deserved it (118312)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

#4133060
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50520) - you deserved it (2264)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51982) - you deserved it (14203)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21772) - you deserved it (212371)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8903) - you deserved it (114662)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10826) - you deserved it (161550)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML

#3228373
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16112) - you deserved it (59714)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:31am - love - by f03_f0r_l1f3 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

#2880458
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40003) - you deserved it (2808)

On 06/14/2009 at 7:08am - health - by MalariaFree (woman) - Uganda (Kampala)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (293068)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)



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