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King_paradox

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King_paradox

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King_paradoxKing_paradox
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4499
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About King_paradox : I'm a wizim

=E=

It's a wizim thing

King_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:05am<b>Clay_Pidgeon</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 11:44pm<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:25am<b>zinoxity</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:17pm<b>LiliLatte</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:33am<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:06am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:26am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:04am<b>kristallan</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:46pm<b>bzac24</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:52am<b>mario2012</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:22pm<b>sarahv04</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:48pm<b>cmchewy</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:30pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 7:36am<b>lilhellian</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 5:55pm<b>Miss_CHEESEPUFFS</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:25pm<b>WhoopteDo</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 6:48pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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King_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

#21062139
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (6060)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:37am - misc - by snowlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44063) - you deserved it (5651)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52574) - you deserved it (7842)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51054) - you deserved it (5072)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46435) - you deserved it (6561)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42998) - you deserved it (9049)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

#21056589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (15364)

On 02/10/2014 at 7:45pm - misc - by QueueJumper (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20567) - you deserved it (38623)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39699) - you deserved it (4835)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (9553)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML

#21053684
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (3826)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

#21053454
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49753) - you deserved it (3684)

On 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm - health - by ... - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52503) - you deserved it (18562)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you deserved it (3808)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42066) - you deserved it (21855)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)



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