About King_paradox : I'm a wizim
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About King_paradox : I'm a wizim
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King_paradox's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/08/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by thenegatives / 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML
by xRyu / 10/08/2014 at 8:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML
by rockytrolley / 10/08/2014 at 5:01am / Cyprus / Transportation
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health
by whywouldyoudothat / 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by thanks babe / 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
by fucksake / 10/05/2014 at 11:55am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy
by SadMother / 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 11:17am / Denmark / Health
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
by cuteloser / 10/04/2014 at 9:57am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 8:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by sisterofthebride / 10/03/2014 at 4:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…