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King_paradox

Offline (the 08/01/2015 at 8:56pm) | Search for a member

King_paradox

1Fucked!

King_paradoxKing_paradox
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10959
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About King_paradox : I'm a wizim

=E=

It's a wizim thing

King_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:55am<b>Capitan</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:03pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:37am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:09pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:01pm<b>kobrien1369</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:01am<b>LoverWordsFood</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:55am<b>_DILYNN_</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:17pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:16pm<b>EvanescenceLuv</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:37pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:51am<b>mitchumcrew</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:52am<b>CrumpledQuill</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:23am<b>enddmd</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:10pm<b>7382929</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:09pm<b>blueblu97</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>enddmd</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 5:03am

King_paradox's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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King_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

#21299878
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (2626)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (5152)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

#21293619
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33723) - you deserved it (3983)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by really - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML

#21292231
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37350) - you deserved it (3930)

On 11/04/2014 at 8:16pm - love - by single pringle - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (2913)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41396) - you deserved it (12422)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35084) - you deserved it (4735)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (4583)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35119) - you deserved it (4345)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32422) - you deserved it (3388)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35129) - you deserved it (7320)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32556) - you deserved it (2394)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML



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