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KingLewisII's favorite FMLs
Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man looked me straight in the eye and said: "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 5:02am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 12:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, the guy I'm dating took me to a dinner party at a couple's house. Halfway through dinner, I realized they were having the dinner party for the sole purpose of introducing him to their recently single daughter. FML
by Angel / 01/13/2016 at 8:56am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiancé and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 3:53am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He's also about to rent a new apartment which he won't be able to afford when he loses his job. I can't warn him or I'll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2016 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Work
Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML
by peachass / 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, on my day off, despite working a night shift the night before I was up early to clean and cook all day to spoil my boyfriend. At 10 p.m. when I finally settled down into the bathtub, my phone rang. It was work, asking where I was for my shift. I didn't have the day off. FML
by MadelynGraceS / 12/28/2015 at 1:56am / United States (Indiana) / Work
by BadLuck / 12/21/2015 at 6:45am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Kids
by f4444 / 12/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML
by Starfucks / 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by anonymous / 12/07/2015 at 8:28am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother dragged me to the mall to get me out of the house and to get me to stop using my phone. She then spent the whole trip talking on her phone instead of actually interacting with me. FML
by LuxTheSarcastic / 11/06/2015 at 6:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm / United States (New York) / Love
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
- Today, I really had to fart but I was in class so I walked to the back. Unfortunately the air vents… Today, After months without my favorite Tresemmé shampoo and conditioner I got an erection in the… Today, I picked up the shirt that I had planned on wearing and found a stain that looked like a cum…