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KingCeltic77's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 1:38am / Iraq / Work
Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2010 at 9:03am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, seeing Ozzy Osbourne live for the first time, I was trying to get the perfect photo of the entire band on stage. That is, until a sudden burst of pyrotechnics startled me, and I gave myself a black eye from the camera hitting me in the face. FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 12:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML
by BlackRavenWings / 11/21/2010 at 5:36pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
by serveandprotectyeahright / 11/20/2010 at 9:00am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I got dumped after about a four year relationship. Feeling lonely and depressed, I posted on facebook, "is hurt, someone please text or call me." Then one of my cousins commented, "no one text him." His comment got 17 "likes." No one got in contact with me. FML
by Tay Tay / 11/19/2010 at 8:55am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML
by distressed / 11/05/2010 at 7:36pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by nk / 11/03/2010 at 12:39am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 9:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by WTF / 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Love
by lookslikeaboyapparently / 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 7:45pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…