About KingCeltic77 : The Blackhawks are gonna win the Stanley Cup!
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Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47973) - you deserved it (4816)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (2383)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (2560)
On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4176) - you deserved it (37904)
On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6155) - you deserved it (44302)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you will be labeled as someone with a short temper. However the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16362) - you deserved it (1890)
On 09/08/2011 at 4:23am - work - by blue (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (8536)
On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12935) - you deserved it (46897)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (2357)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (2068)
On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23320) - you deserved it (4136)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49815) - you deserved it (5252)
On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)
Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (4035)
On 08/21/2011 at 1:48am - kids - by callofdutyhater - United States (California)
Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9162) - you deserved it (22897)
On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (2476)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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