Kimchi_King

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Offline (the 11/15/2014 at 2:30am)

Kimchi_King

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1690
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kimchi_King : My name is Jacob Kim. I have traveled around the universe with the Doctor, ganked demons with Sam and Dean Winchester. I have studied at Hogwarts and under the Jedi council. With all that knowledge I helped Sherlock Holmes solve a few cases.. So yeah I'm a pretty big deal

Kimchi_King's page activity

Visits<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 5:42pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:05am<b>vegasked</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:05am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:56am<b>boostedc</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:09am<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:04pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:01am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:45am<b>alexa_fike</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 8:22pm<b>chamay</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:11pm

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Kimchi_King's favorite FMLs

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

by juggalomurderer59 / 11/12/2014 at 11:00am / United States / Health

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

by Not A Pervert / 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Work

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

by Discipl / 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2014 at 6:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm / United States (Oregon) / Geek

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

by alisaav / 08/08/2014 at 3:40am / Thailand / Love

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love