Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kimchi_King

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

Kimchi_King

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 500
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kimchi_King : My name is Jacob Kim. I have traveled around the universe with the Doctor, ganked demons with Sam and Dean Winchester. I have studied at Hogwarts and under the Jedi council. With all that knowledge I helped Sherlock Holmes solve a few cases.. So yeah I'm a pretty big deal

Kimchi_King's page activity

Visits<b>miichiii</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:05am<b>vegasked</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:05am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:56am<b>boostedc</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:09am<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:04pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:01am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:45am<b>alexa_fike</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 8:22pm<b>EdaPanda</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 3:54pm<b>chamay</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:11pm

Kimchi_King's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Kimchi_King's badges

Kimchi_King's favorite FMLs

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41135) - you deserved it (6052)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

#21232320
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32900) - you deserved it (11117)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:40am - love - by alisaav (woman) - Thailand

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33713) - you deserved it (22402)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52055) - you deserved it (9640)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46173) - you deserved it (6220)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59772) - you deserved it (4619)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45378) - you deserved it (3515)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56300) - you deserved it (3942)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43946) - you deserved it (9917)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I searched up ways to fix my eyebrows since they were so bushy and thick. I took my tweezers and set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street and another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46050) - you deserved it (5118)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40644) - you deserved it (4146)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (12483)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67428) - you deserved it (4138)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

#21020544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41467) - you deserved it (3582)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by tpj24 - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: