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Kimberly_Isabel

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Kimberly_Isabel
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 4055
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Kimberly_Isabel : I could write about me but some information may not seem so useful to you. So just message me and ask me anything. I might answer and I might not. It just depends on what you ask.

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Kimberly_Isabel's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (4592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
273 comments

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33427) - you deserved it (5995)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (22233)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

#18502808
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46109) - you deserved it (5034)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46339) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25373) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (68000)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

#18465867
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18527) - you deserved it (2528)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

#18464914
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19370) - you deserved it (1984)

On 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

#18444648
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (4413)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
97 comments

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27290) - you deserved it (4073)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)



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