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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (2261)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States
Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (3355)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (36319)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35560) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (24170)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11999) - you deserved it (23096)
On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43615) - you deserved it (7674)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9639) - you deserved it (28643)
On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24616) - you deserved it (10764)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34768) - you deserved it (14402)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7963) - you deserved it (22357)
On 10/02/2011 at 12:53am - kids - by Kelly - United States (Florida)
Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (9878)
On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19975) - you deserved it (7736)
On 10/30/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139816) - you deserved it (32572)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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