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KillSwitch96

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KillSwitch96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 August 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2397
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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KillSwitch96's page activity

Visits<b>Adolfina</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:31am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:49am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:36pm<b>timelawd</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:01pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:12am<b>jad0016</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:21am<b>KIABlackWolves</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:03am<b>D4nnyD4rkn3ss</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Duladian</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:45pm<b>kseniasolorocks</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 6:31pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:55am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:39pm<b>dEnVeRkUsH</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:22am<b>smittyboy123</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:54pm<b>Blizzards</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 12:19am<b>Miizuo</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:24am

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 5:44pm

KillSwitch96's FML badges

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KillSwitch96's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51890) - you deserved it (4563)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49878) - you deserved it (8380)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41684) - you deserved it (5300)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45439) - you deserved it (5441)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40380) - you deserved it (4398)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42614) - you deserved it (5091)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40074) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56271) - you deserved it (6790)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43051) - you deserved it (6103)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45755) - you deserved it (4665)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

#21165721
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (7176)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by embarrassed girl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34984) - you deserved it (4284)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

#21161395
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (15522)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

#21159630
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42643) - you deserved it (11166)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm - work - by ugh - United States (New Hampshire)



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