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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Kilala700's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML
by Jennnn / 09/16/2009 at 4:08pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by theboywithlonghair / 09/09/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML
by thesockmancometh / 07/30/2009 at 11:21am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by BrokenVow / 07/30/2009 at 8:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/30/2009 at 5:23am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by adsfkerfmpo / 07/30/2009 at 4:11am / United States (California) / Love
by LevKin / 07/30/2009 at 3:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
by solomantis / 07/30/2009 at 1:46am / Norway (Oslo) / Intimacy
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2009 at 8:14pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML
by imscrewed / 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Ouch / 07/29/2009 at 1:42am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that "we really should have a weight limit for who can try on our products." FML
by BigFoot / 07/29/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML
by BigPurplePresent / 07/28/2009 at 9:34am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today I got my period after missing it last month, the good part, I'm not prego, the bad part, it's… Today, I was helping my friend move into a new apartment. As we were carrying his table up a flight… Today, I am at work as a programmer. It's 32°C/90°F outside and my coworker needs to have 3 desktop…