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Kilala700

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Kilala700

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 969
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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Kilala700's page activity

Visits<b>Person1233</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 6:44pm

Kilala700's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kilala700's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

#5141393
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35878) - you deserved it (5264)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

#4158714
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46152) - you deserved it (4049)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

#4156133
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12153) - you deserved it (48309)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21811) - you deserved it (53805)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my boyfriend and I made a date to try to save our relationship. I sat in his room for hours while he watched YouTube videos of World of Warcraft. FML

#4154215
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42629) - you deserved it (7179)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:11am - love - by adsfkerfmpo (woman) - United States (California) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I got into a car accident. The car I hit belongs to my girlfriend's father. We never met before. He believes strongly in "first impressions." FML

#4153520
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38455) - you deserved it (5935)

On 07/30/2009 at 3:20am - love - by LevKin (man) - Canada (Quebec) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

#4151663
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13201) - you deserved it (45278)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by solomantis (man) - Norway (Oslo) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML

#4142743
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11353) - you deserved it (68615)

On 07/29/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

#4136342
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75077) - you deserved it (3553)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

#4125421
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40440) - you deserved it (6186)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that "we really should have a weight limit for who can try on our products." FML

#4122629
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (18335)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:03am - money - by BigFoot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49777) - you deserved it (7801)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

#4103761
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40406) - you deserved it (16508)

On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42771) - you deserved it (7283)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, to cheer my girlfriend up after her mother died a week ago, I took her to a comedy club. The comedian's theme for the night happened to be mother-daughter relationships. FML

#4087171
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55946) - you deserved it (7180)

On 07/27/2009 at 7:33pm - love - by RupeeLink - United Kingdom (Bristol)



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