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Kickinchicken213's favorite FMLs
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
by The Towel Molester / 01/26/2012 at 9:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Harry / 07/20/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Kids
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
by craphanded / 07/19/2011 at 1:45pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Animals
by freakfreak12345 / 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Maine) / Animals
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Noff / 07/05/2011 at 5:42am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Bekah / 07/04/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by crudofalife / 07/04/2011 at 5:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…