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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Kickinchicken213

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Kickinchicken213
  • Town/Country : Lenoir, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 February 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 126045
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kickinchicken213's favorite FMLs

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (6803) - you deserved it (716)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2467)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (3739)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

#17187115 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (17031) - you deserved it (901)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

#17177469 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (8944) - you deserved it (2483)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:45pm - animals - by craphanded - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (6908) - you deserved it (46600)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (4546)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML

#17165263 (397)

I agree, your life sucks (48408) - you deserved it (3919)

On 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (10578) - you deserved it (838)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

#17000180 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (30460) - you deserved it (9360)

On 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038 (472)

I agree, your life sucks (41317) - you deserved it (11031)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (2538)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I received a text at 6am from my boss stating that my services are no longer required. He couldn't even wait until I was awake to fire me. FML

#16983703 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (1982)

On 07/05/2011 at 5:42am - work - by Noff (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (10877) - you deserved it (1223)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

#16970431 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (24379) - you deserved it (2370)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)