I am the most amazing person you will ever meet!
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15539) - you totally deserved it (1339)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15640) - you totally deserved it (2665)
On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5075) - you totally deserved it (17036)
On 10/24/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Clutz (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you totally deserved it (1628)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34714) - you totally deserved it (2234)
On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, waiting for the bus, this creepy guy in the terminal kept staring at me. Feeling creeped out, I started walking, knowing I could pick up the bus down the street. When the bus drove up, it was almost completely full and the only open seat was next to the creepy dude from the bus station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you totally deserved it (2517)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:54pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you totally deserved it (5853)
On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6824) - you totally deserved it (50334)
On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37657) - you totally deserved it (1593)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you totally deserved it (4849)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37541) - you totally deserved it (5029)
On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46782) - you totally deserved it (3352)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)
Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50592) - you totally deserved it (2195)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you totally deserved it (2169)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm - love - by me (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
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On 09/06/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by M.L. (man) - United States (New York)
