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Khopix

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Khopix

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  • Number of visits : 135
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Khopix's page activity

Visits<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 6:06pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 9:36pm<b>doud</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 3:34pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:06pm<b>dhe713</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:11pm<b>yankeesfancg</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 10:31pm

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Khopix's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45093) - you deserved it (4772)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (2581)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41537) - you deserved it (2351)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48513) - you deserved it (4901)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47274) - you deserved it (3195)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54236) - you deserved it (16903)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (49803)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44265) - you deserved it (32391) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57704) - you deserved it (6817)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45106) - you deserved it (8985)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML



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