Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KhazKhazz

Online | Search for a member

KhazKhazz

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2605
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 67 posted

About KhazKhazz : Just a small town girl working in her local pub

KhazKhazz's page activity

Visits<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:06am<b>kitkatmiaow</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:35pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:51am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:01am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:46am<b>sky413</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:26am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:18pm<b>kingmoridin</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:03pm<b>bigdog80</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:51pm<b>jake_braves</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:34pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:52pm<b>muarif</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:45am<b>MrRondo</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:10pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:58pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:13pm<b>sprigs_</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:00pm<b>DaEpicTaco</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:32pm<b>iajm02</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:49am

Fucked!<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:51pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:58pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:17pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:15pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:53am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:22am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:41am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:38am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:16pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:19am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:38am<b>BekiJ1</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:21am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:24pm

KhazKhazz's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of KhazKhazz's badges

KhazKhazz's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

#21386936
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32072) - you deserved it (3394)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:41am - health - by Ravhi Karia - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (6575)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (7923)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ate a wonderful meal, after which I fell asleep on my couch and had a dream that my husband was passionately kissing me. I woke up to realize it was actually my cat licking bits of food out of my teeth. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32357) - you deserved it (4782)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (35647)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33270) - you deserved it (2644)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (15647)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (4048)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (3773)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32769) - you deserved it (2629)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (9197)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: