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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Kevlar

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Kevlar
  • Town/Country : Wervik, Belgium
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2127
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Kevlar : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=687140116

Kevlar's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kevlar's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190 (368)

I agree, your life sucks (111548) - you deserved it (26056)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

#1384927 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (36935)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by maddie94 (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

#1375627 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (39975) - you deserved it (9879)

On 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by ahhnotoy (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (53472) - you deserved it (6546)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (8668) - you deserved it (44151)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (75449) - you deserved it (11394)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (70770)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

#1054666 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (55820) - you deserved it (6071)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (16283)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my car got a flat tire. I jacked up my car, removed the flat and went to get my spare out of the trunk. Where my spare is supposed to be I found a note. It said "You're a bitch - John". John is my ex boyfriend. He borrowed my car the day we broke up, apparently he stole my spare tire too. FML

#1039565 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (42227) - you deserved it (6813)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by jacked (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (53383)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML

#1017007 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (16192) - you deserved it (40676)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by xnickx (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

#963044 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (22409)

On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

#924163 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (87607) - you deserved it (2863)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (70548) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)