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Kevin_Kestel's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Kevin_Kestel's favorite FMLs
Today, two aggressive police officers appeared at my door informing me that a complaint was filed about my 18 year-old son having "inappropriate relations" with a 16 year-old. We live in England. I had to Google the law to prove to them this was legal. FML
by Confuseddad / 02/16/2016 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, my dad got angry with me for not watching "Better Call Saul" with him, because he thinks it will help me with law school. He did this while I was actually reading for a class taught by the top health law professor in the country. FML
by randommanwill / 02/16/2016 at 3:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML
by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
by whydadwhy / 01/29/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by potatoking24 / 01/07/2016 at 10:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML
by embarrassed / 01/04/2016 at 12:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex-boyfriend admitted the reason he broke up with me was because he cheated and felt awful about it. The girl is now pregnant, but he swears it isn't his. Guess we'll find out in a few months if my daughter has a sibling. FML
by loko0909 / 01/03/2016 at 11:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, a customer gave me hell because a high-spec game he bought wouldn't run on his ancient Windows XP PC. I ended up having to profusely apologize and refund him. Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right" should probably be shot, run over by a bus, then shot a few more times. FML
by fucking fuck off / 01/01/2016 at 9:28am / United States / Work
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 10:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Cian_1 / 12/28/2015 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 12:40am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2015 at 6:47pm / Australia (South Australia) / Love
by mommiedearest / 12/24/2015 at 11:06am / United States (South Carolina) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…