About KenziieB : There isnt much to me. I adore body modification; my ears are both stretched and ive currently got 8 piercings in my body. Dont waste your time telling me how gross you believe it is. Proper grammar is a big thing to me. Please use it. Don't message me on here :P Kik: Kenzie.EatsZombies
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KenziieB's favorite FMLs
Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML
by rach / 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by disappointed dad / 05/19/2013 at 3:35am / United States / Kids
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
by Devin / 05/19/2013 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
by mackmackey / 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
by Mr_poole / 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
by lez probs / 05/18/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Intimacy
by Sarsippius / 05/18/2013 at 1:22am / Love
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by sprainedankle / 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
by Urgghh / 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by need € for new iron / 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
- Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I… Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split… Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked…