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Kenton1008

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Kenton1008

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1545
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Kenton1008's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:15am<b>Bea_FaCurtains</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:29pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:21pm<b>hermits8</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 8:14pm<b>FML_TJ</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 1:47am<b>catelfer</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 12:03pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 10:33pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 5:18am<b>HeavenlyAura</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:24pm<b>imawesomeokay</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 7:26pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 7:22pm<b>kingcheese</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Voij</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 5:32pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 5:10pm<b>addioty</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 4:57pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 8:45pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:26pm

Kenton1008's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Kenton1008's badges

Kenton1008's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (13722)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (11489)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

#21148769
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48069) - you deserved it (15144)

On 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56366) - you deserved it (6675)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44265) - you deserved it (32391) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76010) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30570) - you deserved it (5720)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38025) - you deserved it (4750)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50576) - you deserved it (6160)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28430) - you deserved it (5991)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (5171)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (4004)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40249) - you deserved it (13542)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)



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