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Kels789

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Kels789

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 531
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Kels789's page activity

Visits<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 8:45am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:01pm<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:48am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:05am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 11:49pm<b>jagma</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:26am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:39am<b>SilverZephyr</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:36pm<b>tbro47</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 8:51pm<b>QueenOfSuppness</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:09pm<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:11pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:04pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:22pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 6:30am<b>Mightyrif</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:31am<b>newzealand</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:02am

Kels789's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Kels789's badges

Kels789's favorite FMLs

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (3042)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29989) - you deserved it (5128)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31240) - you deserved it (6434)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40630) - you deserved it (3864)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

#20829503
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37906) - you deserved it (3419)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29407) - you deserved it (1910)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (5453)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

#19601147
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24044) - you deserved it (9970)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you deserved it (2705)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47427) - you deserved it (4623)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15936) - you deserved it (22829)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27107) - you deserved it (2661)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38355) - you deserved it (7382)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42201) - you deserved it (28719)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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